This is kind of a weird situation but I'm thinking maybe some other moms in the group are going through this as well....I am assuming that since this is our third child, no one is going to give us a baby shower, here are my thoughts on that though: First, I believe every baby should be celebrated, it doesn't need to be a gift giving thing, but just some sort of party because even though this is our third child, it is no different from the first in our eyes (I know people sometimes have really weird feelings on this, like once you celebrate the first you shouldn't celebrate any of the other ones) and if anything we are probably the most excited about this baby than we were about the other two because having the other two makes us realize what a gift our children are. Second, we had to get rid of most of our baby stuff because my youngest had reflux and ruined it all so we actually do need a bunch of things. Third, I just want a baby shower!!! I like parties in my own honor that don't involve turning a year older So my questions are - how do I find out if anyone is giving me a shower? I'm assuming someone would have mentioned it by now. Would it be in bad taste to "share" with a good friend how much I would love to celebrate this baby? Or should we just plan to do a shower for ourselves? On top of it all, we had at least 2 showers each for both of our other kids - I would feel awful not to have anything in the baby book for this one. Thoughts???
Monica

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Oh one other thing, we are probably going to make a big shopping trip to babies R us in the next few weeks (since I never know when I will be suddenly put on bedrest) and that is another reason I really want to know if anyone's planning a shower for me - I'd hate to buy everything and then have it given to us too! I hope I don't sound like a greedy selfish person, I really am not, I guess I am also remembering how much fun it is to have a shower and how it gives you something to look forward to and gets you so excited about the baby coming when you see all the cute little things... I'm also majorly nesting and dying to get started on organizing for the baby but I have nothing to organize
OK that's all on the subject, I swear I'm glad I could at least get if off my chest here, makes me feel better at least.
Monica

Maybe you can hint around somehow, explaining.
Since this is our last and we usually do showers AFTER the baby is born, and if this ends up being a girl, I would really love one, cause I don't have anything pink. Even if this is another boy, Id love to have one just because its our last-kwim. Plus we really don't have many blue clothes and other things since, like you, we got rid of most clothes on a couple garage sales last spring. Stained or just plain worn out, same clothes going through 2 boys. So we really don't have that much either.

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Rachel
Proud Mother of 2 Boys and a Girl
Isaac David - February 2004
Carson Eli - January 2006
Kianna Rachelle - May 2008





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Do you have someone in mind that would be the most likely to throw a shower in your honor? If so, I don't think it would be out of line to ask if she was planning on having one for this baby. You could explain that you were thinking about throwing a pre-arrival get together, but wanted to see if she had something in the works or was planning on organizing a shower, before you started on something. I'm not sure exactly how to word it, but I'm sure you get the picture. Then if she wasn't planning to organize something or didn't already have something in mind; you could move forward from there and plan a celebration yourselves.

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I am one those who feel a shower is not necessary after the first one and I suppose it is because most people I know and have grown up around see it as a big no no. I do however think that if no one is going to throw you a shower it is certainly okay to have a celebration. Since this baby is going to born in June a big BBQ would be a wonderful idea and people will more than likely bring a gift in celebration of this new baby. My friends are really pushing a shower on me and I told them no that we would have a big meet the baby BBQ after if they felt the need to shower the new little one with gifts. If you really need the items before the baby do a Help Us Celebrate gathering with your family and friends.

Please do not get me wrong......I would not ever judge anyone for having a second third fourth or whatever number shower. It is just poor etiquette the way I was raised, however times are changing and even registries are being very accepted. I do believe if you do not get a second shower teh birth of any number of newborn child deserves nothing lass than a celebration in their honor. Even men are now commonly found on shower guest lists and I think that is great, since afterall....fathers deserve some showering as well.

Whatever happens I hope the celebrations is wonderful and I can't wait for pictures

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IMO it is not proper ettiquette to ask someone to throw you a shower or to throw one for yourself. I think planning a meet the baby party for after birth is a great idea. I plan on having one for the twins. Perhaps if you mention your plan to have a meet the baby party someone may step up and say "wait let's just have a shower!"

I just don't subscribe to the idea that moms don't have showers for their second, third or even their fourth baby! The birth of a baby deserves a celebration and if it's not your first...a party is a welcome break! Nothing greedy about it! Showers are always appreciated.

There are still people who stick pretty close to the old rules about this kind of thing, so you'd have to be so careful how you drop hints. I think that Mere's suggestion about a "Meet My New Baby Party" is an excellent way to open the door for a friend to suggest a shower before baby's birth.

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I'm thinking about having some friends over about 2 months after baby is born to celebrate. At my workplace, the ladies always take the new moms to be (whether 2nd, 3rd, or + baby) to lunch. So it is like a little party too.

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I have to say I was raised like Kim, and we do not have showers for anything past the first baby. However, when we had our shower last year, I didn't view it as a shower for Kate, but a shower for all of our children. I figured the things we received would be used by all of our children. Just like when I decorated the nursery, it wasn't necessarily for Kate but it would be used by all of our children. Now I am decorating Kate's big girl room and I am enjoyng it in a different way because this room is for HER.

I can totally understand how you don't want this baby to feel left out since you had showers for the other two boys. Maybe you can even organize a lunch with friends before the baby is born. Maybe they will bring gifts?... I know a lot of people on my BIM board had a meet the baby party after the baby is born and they got a lot of gifts then. Although that doesn't help you situation of needing big items, but you most likely would get a bunch of clothes and other things.

Good luck with your decision and keep us posted!

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--Kristina

I dont think you are out of line for asking. I am in the same situation as you. My sister mentioned when I was first pregnant that she was going to have a shower for me- so I asked her again yesterday because I know Ryann wont make it until June, and I am feeling kind of stressed about not really having anything for him yet. She actually told me that she was gonna have one in May, but now she is gonna move it up to the beginning of April.

My personal opinion, I dont think I will be going into may pregnant- which is why I was stressing and felt a sudden need to start getting things in order for him now!

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~Angela~

Expecting #5!!

Callie ~ 11



Evann~ 5 and Gavinn ~ 3


Ryann Addison 05-09-2008