my sister pisses me off so badly and i have to bite my tounge or it turns into such a huge blowout.

she called and wanted to know how my dr's appt went and i just explained that next week id be starting my nst, and biophysical profiles, and she just acted like i had never mentioned this to her before and never explained what any of these tests are. she is soooooo forgetful lately and beyond that she is really rather ignorant when it comes to anything to do with motherhood/pregnancy. she has never been married or pregnant.

i guess a lot of my anger stems from the fact that the two women id love to be closest to during this important time in my life, i havent been and cant be. my mom is in the beginning stages of alzheimers (or however u spell it) and lets face it, its been almost 31 yrs since she has given birth, i cant call her for support or even just talk to her and expect her to remember anything. my sister, well, dont get me wrong, i lover her to pieces but we are very very different people and do not communicate well together, she is not what i would call a close friend, although id love it if we could be. both of them would just look at me with a blank stare if i said i was so and so dilated or so and so effaced because they have no freakin clue.

if i tell my sister im having a rough day with the kids and i get a bit snippy with one of them, she gets mad at me, even though she has no freakin clue what its like to be a mother in the first place. i just get sooooooooo gosh, i dont know...... upset over it all.




thanks for reading.

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[img]http://image.lafemmebonita.
com/c/bg693389.jpg[/img]

Sorry you have to deal with that. I know that could be very frustrating. How old is your sis? Seems like she could at least read up on pregnancy if she wants to ask you about things related, rather than just sit there in her unknowing fog or really taking an interest enough to remember what you've told her. Things like that aggravate me too - for people to ask and yet have no retention or you can tell they are really only asking for asking's sake.

My sis and I never got to grow up together, but we really made it a point to learn about each other once we got older and to become close. The older we get the closer we get. I'm really glad. Hopefully some day your sister will make more of an effort in that direction with you - to find some common ground that you two can relate on. You are not awful for wishing things were different. Sorry about your mom's situation. I can't imagine what you are going through on that level. It's one of the scariest things I can think of to have to deal with. I can imagine it's a pretty helpless feeling to almost feel like you've already lost a big part of someone who is still physically here.

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While I can't empathize with you on my mom remembering I can DEFINITELY empathize on the sibling end. My sister and I are almost 10 years apart...which puts her at 13 (14 next month). To ask for ANY help from her with Dean is usually like asking her if she'd like an enema. She's not very helpful OR nice about things. She's my only sibling too...so I can't share things with her that she obviously can't even begin to relate to yet. It's really hard on me to not have that relationship.

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Jeannette
wife to Jerry 09-10-04
Mommy to:
Dean 2-23-07
and
Jeigh 06-06-08

That sounds really rough; I'm sorry you feel so alone. I only have a younger brother and was always one of the "wish-I-had-a-sister"-types. Over the years, though, my bro's wife and I have become like sisters, so that helps. (She doesn't have a "real" one either.) I know it's not the same, but as good as it gets for me...and the reason why I'm so thrilled my girls have each other (and boys, too).

As for the Alzheimer's, I know how draining that can be seeing my grandmas go through it and my parents caring for them. (And what a rollercoaster of emotions my mother and her sisters have been on with it and each other-whew!) I can only imagine how difficult it must be at your stage of life. Hopefully you have help and support? I know the support groups offered through hospitals/long-term care places are typically very helpful. Please don't try to be mommy and caretaker all alone.

I hope things improve for you and that venting helped. Lots of (((hugs))), mama!

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I am sorry to hear of your rough day. I can totally understand. I have two sisters and a brother. I haven't seen my brother in 12 years, and my oldest sister in 7. I haven't talked to either one in over two years. Only my sister who is 3 years older than me still talk. And she lives almost two hours away. My other siblings are just clueless as to what is going on in anyone else's life, and never really put any energy into finding out. I am so sorry to hear about your mother. I can not imagine. Hang in there! And vent away!

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Daniel Allen 6/20/2008