So MIL wants to throw me a virtual baby shower, which is basically telling people I am pg, sending a picture and saying where we are registered. I am really not comfortable with this. I feel like I am just asking for gifts. My friends here are throwing me a real baby shower which I am excited about because it is a party and fun and all that. She wants to do it because we don't live near family and have moved a few times, so it is a way to include family and friends who don't live near us. Now, DH is great about keeping in touch with old friends but I am not. I havn't talked to most of them since we left this summer. It doesn't seem right to suddenly ask for presents. I feel bad because she wants to do this and DH wants me to but she wants a list of names and I can't think of one person I feel comfortable asking. I don't want to offend her though. Is anyone else having one of these? I never heard of it.

On a funny note I told my mom who agreed with me and said "we must have been raised the same way" as if she really thought it was a coincidence . She hung up on me when I started laughing at her (in good fun, we get along great).

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I've heard of people having these...but I've never been a part of one myself (never been invited to one or had one thrown for me). But, i would say that it depends on the people you know. Everybody's situation is different and what might be acceptable in one social circle might not be in another. In my circle of family and friends we throw a shower for expectant Mommies no matter if it's their 1st or 5th baby- we just like to have the celebration. In other families though a shower past the 1st baby is uncommon and people really stick to the etiquette rules.

It seems to me that maybe your MIL and DH know that their family would be ok with this sort of shower and that's why they are both eager to take part in it. Could it be that your MIL has heard from several family members regarding when the baby is coming and if you are registered any place? She may be taking ques from others who are asking to somehow be involved in the arrival of your little one. I think that it's ok to not include friends that you no longer KIT with now days...I understand your reasoning behind it and it makes sense.

Ultimately it's up to you. If you are really uncomfortable with the idea then just say "Thanks anyways"... but you may want to consider the idea that your far away family may just be looking for some way to connect with you guys and your new baby...in which case I think that a virtual shower may be a good idea!

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Derek (DH), Derek II (DS), Sammy (DS)

Allison Rene
May 13th 2008
7 lbs 6 oz & 20 in long

Well, I can't give any advice, sorry, - just wanted to say that you should do whatever makes you comfortable! If you don't want to do it, politely decline and hopefully that will be it. GL whatever you decide to do! (and sorry, I've never heard of a virtual shower, but it sounds kinda like, an announcement and a way to have folks go buy a lil something off your registry? Am I getting that right?)

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I think considering you are uncomfortable, you may suggest that MIL waits, and sends out a virtual birth announcement and if she really wanted to she could put a note with it that says "if you would like to send a gift for the baby, there are a few items left on her registry at XXX that would be useful". May not be as harsh as a virtual shower, and still make MIL happy. just a thought.

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Sarah & Natalie

I have never heard about this before. I think I would feel the same as you though. If you dont feel comfortable with it, you tell her how you feel and why.

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Dh Jason
My babies...
Katherine Elizabeth 6/04/04
Samuel Lee 5/04/05 (our son with God)
Griffin Michael 04/13/06
Harrison Gabriel 04/27/08


BabyLinq.com ~ Preemie Store - Hospital NICU
SAFE to going home.

I always think it's sweet when someone wants to throw a shower, but I completely understand how you feel.
I actually had a 'long distance' shower w/ my first but it was a total surprise to me. My mom's family is large & most of them live in Michigan when I lived there I went to the baby showers for aunts & cousins. When I was expecting Dessa, Mom went home to visit & they had a shower for me & then packed up all the stuff & mailed it back to her house & she had us over & surprised us w/ the 'shower in a box' It was sweet.
I agree w/ the other ladies, let her know how you feel about it. Sarah had a pretty god idea, too.

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I understand how you feel. Maybe you can tell your MIL that your close friends are coming to the shower they are throwing you in person, but if she wants to send it to her family/friends (and if you are okay with that) then that is fine. I agree with Brandy that maybe just the "far away folks" want to be involved, and I completely understand your feelings as well. (((hugs)))

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Ann-Marie

mmm... i think that is a cool idea! lol BUT really I am not sure I would feel comfie with it either. I am not having a shower... but we decided to have a bris. (but you dont invite to bris's) So, that would be an idea for me to let people know that yes I am registered

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