Hi everyone!!! Its been awhile since I posted. I still havent gotten around to posting my birth story or pictures, but I have a really good reason, and I promise to do it soon. Priscilla is a great baby, and is doing wonderful. I cant believe she is already a month old. She is still real tiny, Im thinking she might weigh 6lbs something now. She is still in newborn diapers, and all her newborn clothes she drowns in. She is drinking almost 4oz now so atleast she is a good eater. My recovery was awesome the best out of all my children. I did go through a little pp depression which sucks. I still have to make my 6 week appt. and then we are going to schedule my tubal and my hernia surgery for the same time.

Now for the not so good news and whats been keeping me from posting. On April 8th before the baby was born, my dh decided he didnt love me anymore. It was the biggest shocker of my life. We have been together since I was 16, a total of 19 years more then half my life. I was dealing with it, because then he switched and said he probably worded it wrong and that he does love me he is just very unhappy and lost his feelings for me. Then a week ago I open up our Sprint bill, which I never pay attention to, and found alot of the same numbers on my husbands portion of the bill. I instantly got sick and called the number. Its another girl, but she is supossed to be just a friend. She is a cousin of a guy my husband works with. They started talking on Dec 17th until just last week Thursday. Everyday of the week, all hours of the night, anywhere between 5-108 minutes at a time. On his way to and from work after his softball games, while he is driving my kids back and forth to their sports. This is the best one yet, while he was driving to the hospital when I was in labor. My mom and sister took me to the hospital so he didnt come until I was ready to give birth to our 6th child. The next day he took off work, he left the hospital at 4 in the morning, and called her at 6 am and talked to her for over 3 hours, while I sat at the hospital lonely. He came up to the hospital once a day and wouldnt stay any longer then an hour. I was in there for 4 days. I just couldnt believe it. He claims she is a friend because he cant talk to me. He swore nothing happened between them. He has always told me that if he has a desire to cheat he will not stay in the house, he would leave me first. I honestly believed him because we have always had a 100% trust between us. Then I called the girl again and now he is all defending her and not me. He keeps telling me that its to deep to talk about. I think he is either in trouble some way, or he started developing feelings for her just from talking and he is mixed up. Whatever the reason I told him we are seperating and he has to move out. So he is moving out tomorrow. This is the worse feeling in the world, and I never ever thought this would happen. I know in the past I have done alot of things that hurt him. He is upset because the last 8 years I havent shown him any affection, or I never initiate anything or express my feelings. I also have slept on the couch for the past 8 years. I have slept in my bed also but more on the couch. I always put my children first and dont pay him any attention. So I said I would change I knew what I did wrong and I was sorry. He is still very mixed up with his emotions, we tried that for a couple weeks, but nothing has changed. He promised me over and over again that there is nothing more then a friendship, and he never did anything with her. I am having such a hard time with this. Even if they did nothing wrong he still carried on a 6 month relationship on the phone with another woman. I just dont know what to do? His brother passed away almost 2 years ago and he was there when it happened and it was because of my purse getting stolden. My husband has alot of guilt and cant get over his brothers death. I told him he is very depressed and needs to talk to someone and get on some medication to help him. He refuses it because he is mr tuff guy on the outside, but mr softy on the inside. Its out of my hands now so now I just have to decide what I am going to do and how long I will wait to see if he gets the help he needs. He has changed alot recently and everyone notices it so I know its just not me he is different towards. In a week I ate a half of a cheesburger 1 day, a half of a hotdog another day, and a half of a sub another day, and the other days I ate nothing. The thought of food makes me sick. I just started to take mediaction to help me deal with this. Sorry to put this out here like this its just I have to let it out its killing me and I could really use some opions on what some of you would do in this situation. I am scared to be a single mom of 6 at the age of 35. Sorry this was so long, and I hope to get back to posting soon. I do check in everyday just dont have much energy or anything positive to say. Congrats to all the new mommas, all the babys are beautiful, and good luck to the mommas waiting to welcome their new bundle.

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DAWN

BIG BIG BIG HUGS Dawn!!!! I am so very sorry you are going through all this. You are truly an amazing woman and we are all here for you. Please PLEASE PM me anytime. I am not in your situation but have been through different things that I can relate to your feelings and I want you to know ANY time you need to talk I am here!!!

OMG......what a crazy situation. I truly hope you find some peace and I know you will find your strength and get through this even though rate now it does not feel that way. Do you feel your relationship is completely over? OR is there something there that can be saved? If so maybe some counseling of some kind to could help to open the lines of commuacation back up would help. Plus it may give you some tools to work with and some insight into what both of you need to be happy again. It sounds like something has been missing for a longer time then both of you realized and now he is at his braking point BUT if you both want it enough you can rebuild and it could be stronger then ever before.

Truly girly hang in there and know you are in my thoughts and prayer and I hope you guys can come find some common ground to build on....you have so much history.

HUGS

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Amanda, James & Sweet Mackenzie

7/17 -3rd Laparoscopic Surgery for Endometriosis
8/07 femara & ovidrel First Cy..... 8/24/07
(After trying for 6 years on and off)

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~Angela~

Expecting #5!!

Callie ~ 11



Evann~ 5 and Gavinn ~ 3


Ryann Addison 05-09-2008

Oh Dawn,
I am so sorry you are having to deal with all of this right now. That has got to be so hard and you sound so much stronger than I could ever be right now. Is you family near by? Do they know what is going on? I just hope you have some local support and are not along dealing with all of this and the kiddos alone. That is a lot for any person to take on. It sounds like there are some deep rooted issues and I think that if the both of you could go to some counseling it could benefit the both of you guys. I think sometimes we just get into the motion of things and lose the meaning and emotion behind things if that makes sense. Gosh, I'm just feel so bad for you right now and I wish there would something I could do or say to make it better. Please know that we are all here to listen and etc. So please come here to talk, vent, or etc. I know I would be an emotional wreck right now and especially pissed that he was calling and talking to another woman ESPECIALLY on the day that you gave birth to your new baby and etc. Please take care of yourself and let us know if there is anything that we can do and keep us posted. Big hugs and prayers coming you way.

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Oh Dawn! :bigsadhug

I just can't imagine. I would be such a mess. You sound very level headed and like you are doing the best you can in a really crappy situation. Whatever happens, I have faith that you will come out of this stronger. Thinking of you!

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~ Rebecca ~
Drew 04.09.04
Landon 02.21.06
and Max 05.28.08

I'm so, so sorry you are going through this. ((((Hugs))))

Since you asked for our advice...especially if I had kids with my dh, I would really try to do everything I could to salvage the marriage. Probably go to my husband and explain that there were things both of us did to get us to the point we are at now, and that I really want to try to save our marriage. I would go to counseling with him and try everything possible to make things work. It must really, really, really hurt that he was talking to this other woman. Grrrrr....but I truly hope if you guys are able to talk to someone and work out your issues, the two of you can become close again and he will have no time/desire/need for anyone else in his life but you and your kids.

Big huge hugs going out to you. I can't even imagine what you are dealing with and with a newborn no less. I'm so sorry. I hope things get better very soon.

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Ann-Marie

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this! My baby's "sperm donor" was my fiance of 2 years, but I had known since we were in kindergarten together. Shortly after I found out I was pregnant, I also found out he has been cheating on me. It was a total blow. You really think you know someone and then they go and pull something like that. Every situation is different. I knew that leaving him was what was best for me and the baby. He is now signing over his rights after my baby is born. In my case, this makes me the happiest person in the world knowing he will have no claim over her. It took me awhile to get there, but now I'm really at peace with what happened and the way things have worked out. You will get to the point eventually. It's hard and sometime you'll feel like giving up, but just know that it will all work out in the end. I don't know if you are religious and I don't want to sound preachy, but a phrase that really helped me get through it was "if He led you to it, He will see you through it". I've had to learn to praise the Lord who gives and takes away. Anyways, I hope you figure out what works best for you and your children. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk too! You and your kids are in my thoughts & prayers.

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I just wanted to wish you good luck. My husband and I went threw something similar. He came home and told me he wasnt happy. But we worked threw a lot of it. I couldnt give up on him... i didnt through him out. ... And even though there wasnt one woman.... there were women. We went to couseling.... although that was a bunch of laughs... really i think it helped us threw it though. We werent the people to give up on each other and he realized i was the one. I mean it was mostly him and his feelings... and sometimes he does bout with depression. It is hard. But he didnt leave.... and we are having another baby now. So, things can work out too....

Life is a journey.... and The end result is what matters the most..... everything up to that point is what makes you grow and strong.... and it is what YOUR book it filled up with. No marriage is not tested.... It is the choices you make weither it works or not.... and how the story ends.... My husband and I will end up on our front patio (we dont have one yet... but it is a part of our story yet to come) rocking in our chairs... waiting on the kids and grand kids to come..... And we will smile at one in other knowing how the past got us there.

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Oh Dawn I'm so sorry that things have only gotten worse with your DH! I'm so upset for you... you're so devoted to your family, that I know that you will do what is best. I'll be praying for you guys

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Oh Dawn, so sorry you are going through all this. Friendship and Trust are the roots of any relationship, and the two of you have to determine whether what you have is worth putting back together and what you are both willing to do to make it work.

Let us know if there is anything we can do for you.

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Sarah & Natalie

Very very sorry to hear this... I know we dont "know" eachother at all, but my advice and opinion for you is this..
My closest friend had this happen.. he to swore to her nothing had "happened " between them... I told her to stop being so niave, because she kept telling me over and and over and over, her husband was NOT like that blah blah, and of course in the end it all came out. What your husband is doing is wrong. Even if he hasnt slept with her, (which I find that very hard to believe, men crave physical affection and if they dont get it at home they will seek it elsewhere) but he is still have an "emotional affair" with her. Wrong plain and simple. It sounds like to me you guys could use some counseling, if you have been emotionally detached from him for 8 years that is a long time. He was craving something he wasnt getting from you... BUT he shouldnt have turned to another woman but instead I really think you both should look into counseling because their are children involved too.. and then if that doesnt work then go from there... Marriage isnt always happy jolly times, I have been married for 17 years and we all have our ups and downs. Never has infidelity played a part in my marriage though, but what Im saying is too many give up on a marriage when they "Just arent happy anymore" No one is happy 24 hours a day.. and they always think they will be happier with so and so...
Im really sorry you are going through all this, espcially at such a time in your life. ... if you want to talk more just PM me I wish you all the best!!

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I had my ex df come home when I was 4months preggo with our second, adn tell me he did not love me anymore. I went through the whole lets work through this thing for almost two months. There was another woman, adn he still claims to this day that nothing happened but convo's during that time, though later they did hook up. After Joshua's birth, he tried to get me back, and after 6 motnhs of trying again I found it was me that did not want him anymore. It was tough, but one of the best decisions I made. I was so lost when it first happened, and I spent so many nights and days crying and just not being available to my kids bc I did not feel like I could be. I decided one day to knock it off, suck it up and show him by not letting his choice to not be in our family affect me. It wored. His life sucks now, adn mine rocks. He has missed out on the boysgrowing up and I have not. I moved on, he JUST found a relationship, and it sounds like it is just as unhealthy as he ever has been. Get support, get help with the kids, take some time to cry, mourn the loss, and deal with the aftermath. Don't do anything you do not want to, just to try and keep the relationship. Follow your heart and take time to make sure the decisions you make benefit you and your kids first. No matter what, you can not change how he feels, but you can control how you are treated and what your boundaries will be. If it is worth fixing, you both will work on fixing it, adn be willing to put in the effort. If it is only one of you, it won't work out. Best of luck hun. This is more than you need on your plate right now, let alone at any point in life, but especially after having your sixth child. Take care of yourself. Remember unless you take care of yourself, you can not really take care of anyone else. Know you are loved, and are important to many people, esp your six children. KUP and PM me anytime you want.

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