Ever since we found out we were expecting a girl (and started to share the news) the main response I have gotten is: "Oh, girls are so much harder than boys!" ... I heard this several times yesterday alone actually...

Now, I just brush this off as people giving their unneeded, stupid 2c worth- and that it's just another way for people to try and rain on our parade (since people love to do this to pg women for some reason...).

But still, against my will I guess, it leaves me wondering about WHY so many people say this. Honestly, how can this be true with so many personality variables out there? In the beginning (newborn stage) I figure a baby is just a baby- boy or girl- needing the same basic things as any other baby. I mean, basic needs don't generally change based on gender.

I guess that part of this is just a vent because I don't get why people always have to find the negative in whatever somebody else is going through...but also I figure that, while I don't put stock in what others around me say, I do value what you girls might have to say about it...I haven't known anyone here to lie yet! And so I am just curious about what your own experiences have been raising one gender over the other.

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Derek (DH), Derek II (DS), Sammy (DS)

Allison Rene
May 13th 2008
7 lbs 6 oz & 20 in long

I've gotten similar responses, only mine have been along the lines of, girls are easier babies and then harder to deal with as they get to the teenage stage. I don't like it when people make generalizations like that because I think a lot of it has to do with parenting styles. My ds was a SUPER easy baby, and is still a very easy toddler. I am nervous about having a girl, not so much about having a baby girl, but I do worry about how it will be when she is older. Just because they go through so much at puberty and I'm sure that's going to be a challenge for me to help her make it through those years.
Now that being said, if she is anything like my neice (who is 20 months old) and my dh's neice (who is 8) I think I should be very worried, lol. Those two are SO fiesty and tempermental, lol. But again, I think it boils down to parenting styles and their environment and not the actual gender. Because I think they would probably be like that if they were boys, lol.

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I know I only have a daughter, but I have tons of nieces and nephews and am from a huge family myself. I truly believe each child is an individual and has specific personality traits already wired before they are born, no matter which gender they are. Like Brandi said, I think parenting styles hugely impact how those personalities develop, but I do think they already have the genetic make-up that greatly affects who they are. I have a niece who is very laid back, the easiest baby EVER! And a nephew who was a very touchy, sensitive baby. My own daughter was a handful, and I am the first to admit it. But as soon as you find out what kind of personality they have, what makes them tick, you can parent them effectively and it will all work out fine. I hate when people make sweeping generalizations based on gender alone. It really annoys me. That is not to say that I don't think there are some basic differences between girls and boys. I do agree that some of the stereotypes are true about boys and girls, but I don't think those ones about boys being easy, girls being hard are true. You are going to LOVE having your little daughter, not because she is a girl or a boy, but because she is "herself," a new little person who you get to discover and enjoy parenting every day, just as I'm sure you have enjoyed your sons. Don't let those people get to you. We've already established that people say some really dumb things to pregnant people! hee hee.

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Ann-Marie

from DIJune

I have two of each with another little one on the way...here's a very generalized rundown of mine. hehe
DS#1 - very easy baby -- more difficult older child with his definite sweet moments -- mesmerized by cars before he could talk
DS#2 - harder baby (but, from what I've heard, could be worse) -- easier, lovey dovey older child...but loud!
DD#1 - pretty easy baby -- very sensitive, girly girl who's also quite energetic (just turned five)
DD#2 - somewhere in-between DS#2 and DD#1 as a baby and still our worst overnight sleeper to date -- she's two now, so has her good and bad moments...what more can I say? Her "girliness" is really starting to come through now...she loves to mimic her sissy and me...it seems very natural.

Anyway...I agree with the PPs that a lot of it has to do with individual temperaments and tendencies...plus parenting style. There are definitely gender differences (girls do whine! haha), but those differences are all over the scale, so to speak. Some people have "gentle-spirited" boys and "spirited" girls and vice versa...or both! My "all-boy" is my second, but his brother is definitely still a boy behaviorally gender-wise, no mistaking it. My oldest little girl is very girly in every way, but also loves to climb all over Daddy, run, skip, dance, and jump, etc. I don't know if any of that makes sense (only in my head probably, hehe) or answers your questions. IMO, girls are girls and boys are boys usually in some obvious and typical ways...but there's just such a mishmash of personality, etc. combos you can have...and then you throw in environment (parenting, etc.)...so generalizations are just that...generalizations!

FWIW, people used to drive us nuts after we had our first girl following two boys when she was just a tiny baby by constantly...I mean constantly...telling us she'd definitely be a tomboy since she had two big brothers. Haha...that couldn't be further from the truth! There's definitely some element of "pre-wiring" there...but it's not a simple given.

All of that said, you'll do fine and people just like to hear themselves talk.

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Well, I really really really believe its your childs personality.

My daughter from birth has been difficult and very strong willed.
My son has had his moments but has been much much easier from the moment he was born.
That being said, my sister has 6 children, 2 girls and 4 boys and her hardest most difficult stubborn child is her 2nd son.
Now my SIL has 2 girls. Her oldest daughter is very strong willed and difficult whereas her 2nd daugher is much more laid back and easy going.
I am totally in the opinion that it depends on so many other things rather than gender. Im sure there are gender specific things that are difficult but overall, I think it depends on personality and perhaps sometimes birth order (sometimes).

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Dh Jason
My babies...
Katherine Elizabeth 6/04/04
Samuel Lee 5/04/05 (our son with God)
Griffin Michael 04/13/06
Harrison Gabriel 04/27/08



BabyLinq.com ~ Preemie Store - Hospital NICU
SAFE to going home.

I would say I agree because I have one of each and my daughter is harder by far, at this stage. As a baby, my son was the hard one, he screamed for the first 6 months, and would hardly sleep due to reflux. My DD was an angel for the most part from birth to a year. Since then she has been quite the handful- very strong willed and temperamental... it iso nly getting worse and she will be two next week. She's also too smart for her own good and has to be very independent. My son on the other hand was so easy going and still is as a toddler/young child.

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I'm of the camp that every kid is different just based on their own personality. Of course, that being said I have to admit that my daughter is tougher to deal with than my son. As infants they were both pretty 'easy' as well as easygoing.
I also think it's funny how many comments you hear when you are pg. I recently heard 2 moms talking about how their 3rd child was the hardest (both had large families & I don't think either of them knew I was expecting my 3rd. It's like some weird gravitational force that brings pg ladies the comments they least care to hear.

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Well it's true that each child is different in so many ways, I would have to agree that my DD is harder for me to parent then my DS. Both have strong willed personalities, but all of my parenting techniques that worked for my DS pretty much haven't worked for my DD. I tell people all the time that I don't know how to parent her because she is so on the other end of the spectrum then my DS.

This pretty much sums it up IMO too

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I have 2 daughters, 2 sons, and BY FAR, girls are harder then boys.. I could go on and on but I wont
They are both blessings!

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I have to agree...my daughters are much more challenging than my son. That being said I believe that girls are hardwired to be a little more stubborn and a little more straightforward. They are also more vocal and talkative. I believe they have to be to carry on their side of things as a people

Ironically I always said I was going to be the mother of all boys because I teach highschool girls and I know what they turn into Now look at me, I am going to be the mother of 3 girls! Aghhhhhh

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mom to: Charlton, Kaitlin, McKenzie
and introducing
Emersyn Cecilia