Hi ladies,

I am having a bit of a rough week. I have been in tear and then happy and then totally and completely panicked. I have all these crazy thoughts running through my head and they have brought up several questions. Some will sound silly to all you BTDT mom's but for me I am so worried I am going to mess up and do something wrong. I know most of what is bring these thoughts and feeling on is the fact that I have NOTHING ready and will not have for some time still (its out of our control but we are holding off as long as possible as we do not want to have to move everything twice if that makes sense). Ok.....here are some of my questions..... I am hoping I can get some wonderful words of wisdom and advice:

1. How soon can we start to take the baby out shopping, family's, friends, etc?
2. What is tummy time? Why is it important?
3. I have read on other boards that you are not supposed to bath the baby right away...is this correct? I though you could...I feel sooo lost.
4. How do you care for the bellybutton at first?
5. Is it better to demand feed or schedule feed? (I know this will be different for everyone but I am trying to understand?
6. How do you know if you are over feeding or under feeding your baby?
7. When do you start to introduce pabulum / cereal?
8. When do you start to introduce other baby food and what first?

Ok....I know with some of these I am getting way ahead of my self but I have all these thoughts about how I have no clue what I am doing and I am starting to panic. I talked to my DH tonight about all this and he said to stop worrying that we will figure it out as needed once we have her home with us. He also said our families will help us....which is very true BUT I can not help but worry....LOL.

Anyone else feeling this or I am just over analyzing and making my self crazy?

Thanks guys for your help and support!!!

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Amanda, James & Sweet Mackenzie

7/17 -3rd Laparoscopic Surgery for Endometriosis
8/07 femara & ovidrel First Cy..... 8/24/07
(After trying for 6 years on and off)

Hi Amanda. First of all, none of your feelings are silly at all. It is totally normal to feel apprehensive. This is the second child for me, and I still feel anxious about stuff. Try to remember though that you are going to do GREAT. There is no one absolutely correct way to do anything. You are not going to "mess up" your baby! Trust me that you will get to know your baby and your instinct will kick in and you will be a GREAT mommy. It really will happen. Here are some of the answers that I did/will do, but again, you may get some varying opinions b/c there are different ways to parent and lots of different types of babies too.

1. How soon can we start to take the baby out shopping, family's, friends, etc? This is totally open for debate. We took her outside for walks and stuff pretty early, b/c the weather was beautiful and we wanted to get out. My family came to see her the day after she got home from the hospital. They just all washed their hands w/soap before holding her. It really depends on your comfort level. Some people advise waiting a month so that their immune system can strengthen up a bit, but it is a totally personal decision. I also have other friends that have taken their baby to Wal Mart or Target from day one. It really is what you feel comfortable with.
2. What is tummy time? Why is it important? It just means laying your baby on their tummy (we put her on a blanket on the floor). It gives them time to exercise and strengthen their neck muscles. Also, since SIDS now we put baby to sleep on their backs, they don't get as much time on their tummies. Some babies don't mind tummy time, some scream b/c they hate it. If your baby doesn't like it, I have some tips for you later!
3. I have read on other boards that you are not supposed to bath the baby right away...is this correct? I though you could...I feel sooo lost. Don't worry! They are probably talking about not submerging the baby before their bellybutton thingy falls off. You can give baby sponge baths until that happens. Really, they won't be that dirty, so it is really just to wash off their private area or spit-up or milk around their mouth/face.
4. How do you care for the bellybutton at first? When I had my dd, the dr. told me to wipe the bellybutton area w/alcohol (we used those little alcohol wipes and they were awesome!) But I have heard some people who recently had babies say their dr. said to just leave it alone to dry by itself. Your nurse/Dr. will give you instructions in the hospital. It is not difficult, I promise.
5. Is it better to demand feed or schedule feed? (I know this will be different for everyone but I am trying to understand? I think you said you were ff. If this is true, I'm sorry but I don't know. If you are bf'ing, I went by demand feeding and it worked great for us. But again, this is a personal decision you can make as you get to know your baby. If you are bf'ing, please ask any questions you might have. I am happy to share anything I know w/you!
6. How do you know if you are over feeding or under feeding your baby? Again, if ff, I can't help you with this one. But if bf'ing, usually your body does take care of things and you don't have to worry about either under or overfeeding baby. If for some reason you think your baby is not getting enough bm, I can tell you how to look for dehydration in your infant...but this is really rare.
7. When do you start to introduce pabulum / cereal? We didn't until 6 mos, but once again, people have different opinions on this. Your pediatrician can really help with this, as will your other mommy friends.
8. When do you start to introduce other baby food and what first? Again, we did 6 mos. There are lots of different options for you here. I used this website as a guide and I LOVED it. Make Homemade Baby Food Recipes, Homemade Baby Food Recipes, Solid Food Baby Tips, Baby Nutrition & more! I made my own baby food, but even if you don't the site has great menu ideas and recommendations.

Okay, again, I am no expert, just writing to you about my experiences. If you ever have any other questions, please feel free to ask anything!! (((hugs))) you are going to do great!

Yep, it is very normal to feel apprehensive being that this is your first time. You'll figure it out though, so many things really do come by instinct.

1. How soon can we start to take the baby out shopping, family's, friends, etc? This is a personal decision but I will tell you what I have done. Both of my kids were born in the spring (in AZ we don't have much a of a winter anyway) and we took them outside on walks immediately. I took both to matinee movies within two weeks and just kept a blanket obver the carrier to keep germs away. I usually go to church at about 3 weeks PP. It is really up to you though, I have hand sanetizer for anyone who comes to visit the first month if they want to hold the baby.
2. What is tummy time? Why is it important?Tummy time is not only important for their neck strength but it also helps to keep the baby from getting a flat spot on their head. Also, switching which side of their head lays flat when they are sleeping will help with this. I was always concerned about flat spots on my kids heads so I was trying to keep them on their tummies when awake as much as possible. Most babies don't like it much and it may only be a few minutes of the day at first
3. I have read on other boards that you are not supposed to bath the baby right away...is this correct? I though you could...I feel sooo lost.You will just use a lightly wetted washcloth for the first few weeks. The babies really do not get very dirty. With my second baby, her cord didn't fall off until almost 3 weeks old so it was that long before she got a real bath.
4. How do you care for the bellybutton at first?You do not need to do anything to care for the belly button, just keep the area dry, and fold the waste of the diaper down to leave that area exposed to air so that it doesn't get moist from sweat, etc. With both my kids they told me not to use alcohol on the cord.
5. Is it better to demand feed or schedule feed? (I know this will be different for everyone but I am trying to understand?My personal opinion, and like you said there are many opinions, is to schedule feed. I BF and for the first week I feed on demand to help my milk to come in and then I slowly start getting the baby on a schedule. Usually by 1-2 months, my babies are on a 2 1/2-3 hour feeding schedule. This came out of necessity with my first baby because he had such bad acid reflux that he wanted to eat all the time to sooth the acid, then he would puke, then eat, then puke, meanwhile screaming all day long. At two weeks my Ped said we needed to stop feeding him so often because it was aggrivating his reflux. At that point he told us we should be feeding every 3-4 hours. It took two days to get my son from eating every hour to eating every 3 hours and he was a different baby. Still in pain but not the constant pain he was in. I feel that it helps the baby gain an understanding of how their body works (eventually) when they have predictable meal and nap times. Just like adults and bigger kids, we have breakfast lunch and dinner at the same time every day, why shouldn't I help my baby have a predictable routine. It also helps with you having to leave the baby for periods of time or just for your personal daily routine, I was so much happier whne I knew what to expect at what times from day to day. Of course, if my baby were giving me cues that he/she needed to eat sooner than the scheduled time then of course we would but I found my kids to be so much heppier and less unpredictable when we had a routine. That is my 2 cents!
6. How do you know if you are over feeding or under feeding your baby?If you BF, there's really no way to overfeed I guess, they stop when they're done. I don't know what the guidelines are for FF though.
7. When do you start to introduce pabulum / cereal?Most say no earlier than 4 months. I prefer to wait a little longer because once you start feeding them solids, there's no turning back and it can be a pain sometimes and it is really messy. I say if you child is content on breast milk or Formula then wait until 6 months. That being said, with my first I started him at 4m onths because of his reflux, we were just trying to get him to hold anything down. With my second, I held off until 5 months when she was really ready.
8. When do you start to introduce other baby food and what first?I started other food right efter they got a hang of eating with a spoon, it took both of my kids about two weeks on cereals before they really had a hang of it. I make most of my baby food which enables me to know exactly what is going into it. I always started with veggies, fruits can spoil them a little to where they may not want to eat veggies. I started with avocado, squash, carrots, peas, and then moved into some fruits like bananas, apples, pears, etc...

I hope that answered some of your questions. It's hard to know exactly what will be right for you and your baby until you're actually in the situation. For instance with the routine thing, you may find you like to do everyhting on demand, etc. for me it just didn't work, I need a little space and I think having a routine has worked the best for us. My kids were awesome sleepers from a young age, even with difficulties in the beginning, once I got over the 4 month hump, my kids were great. To this day they both go to sleep on their own, they are happy in their beds, and they are very easy going happy kids. Not to suggest they wouldn't be that way if we didn't have a routine but I have seen many friends STRUGGLE with sleeping issues and eating issues for years because their kids never hada routine. Just an opinion though...

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Awww s You are going to be a great mommy. Everything you are feeling is compleatly normal, I stressed so much as a FTM but I didn't have a great board like this to run to. Your ped. will help you every step of the way for most of this stuff. But I'll try to help, so some of your anxiety is eased in the mean time. HTH
1. How soon can we start to take the baby out shopping, family's, friends, etc? Like Ann Marie said everyones opinion is dif. and you ped will advise you as to what is best for your baby. But as long as baby is healthy I take mine out pertty quickly. They have anitbodies leftover from you at first, so their immune systems are stronger than you think. As for fam. and friends just have them wash their hands, or hand them some hand sanitizer when they walk in, and baby will be fine.
2. What is tummy time? Why is it important? Tummy time is where you put them down on their tummy while awake for a few min. each day. It helps them build their neck and sholder muscles up. So they gain good control over their heads, and it prepares them for crawling.
3. I have read on other boards that you are not supposed to bath the baby right away...is this correct? I though you could...I feel sooo lost. Talk to your ped. but most say sponge baths untill the umbilical cord falls off around a week or 2. The only reason not to submerge it is because you are trying to get the stump to dry up, so it'll fall off.
4. How do you care for the bellybutton at first? Again your ped. and the nurses at the hospital will advise you, but some say alcohol, some say use nothing.
5. Is it better to demand feed or schedule feed? (I know this will be different for everyone but I am trying to understand? Another one with varing opinions. I feed on demand as long as baby is not having blood suger problems (the nurses at the hospital will let you know if this is the case). Trust me baby will let you know when she is hungry.
6. How do you know if you are over feeding or under feeding your baby? You will get to know your baby and read her ques. She will let you know when she is done. Also since you are FFing they will weigh baby at all her appts. (and there are alot in the beg.) and as long as she is gaining wt. she is getting enough. (BTW most babies loss some before they leave the hospital, so do freek if this happens). She probably start around 1-2oz. in the beg. and you'll know she wants more when she still seems hungry after she eats. She might cry when you take her bottle away, or constantly knaw on her hands. But you'll know.
7. When do you start to introduce pabulum / cereal? Again your ped. will advise you when it's time, but here in the states the standard is around 4-6months.
8. When do you start to introduce other baby food and what first? They usually say to start with cereal, then when they get that down (yes the have to learn to eat baby food) then move to the green vegs. and move up from there. You give them a few days between each new one, just so you can watch out for food allergies.

You are going to be a great momma, and I promise they will educate you at the hospital before you leave. They won't just hand you a baby and say you're on your own now. Take advantage of the staff there while you have them. Ask any question you have, they've heard it all. And as always we are here for you, if you come up with any more questions. s

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It's really scary being a ftm, and your concerns are not silly at all. I was petrified when it finally sank in I was going to have to care for this little baby when I had my first.` Now, I am no so scared of taking care of the baby, but the changing dynamics of our family. The other girls had some great advice, I just had a few things of my own I wanted to add.

1. How soon can we start to take the baby out shopping, family's, friends, etc? We took Ruben out to the store within the first few days after he was born. with Thomas, we stayed home a little longer, like a week, and went to church when he was 1 week old. It is completely up to you, your comfort level, and what you need to do.
2. What is tummy time? Why is it important? Love the other girls' answers. When I put them on the floor, I usually put a toy or two in front of him to entice him to grab it and play with it.
3. I have read on other boards that you are not supposed to bath the baby right away...is this correct? I though you could...I feel sooo lost. It's all about the cord and keeping it dry so it falls off. a sponge bath is all they need until it comes off.
4. How do you care for the bellybutton at first? I always used a q-tip dipped in alcohol, but I've been reading not to use anything. I will see what the ped says this time. I keep the top of the diaper off it, too. I like the Swaddler diapers with the cut out for that.
5. Is it better to demand feed or schedule feed? (I know this will be different for everyone but I am trying to understand? When BFing, definately demand feed, which eventually turns into (more or less a schedule) Ruben HATED nursing and always ended up taking a bottle. When they are so tiny, I let them demand feed, even with the bottle, but eventually you will pick up on your baby's cues and will settle into more or less of a schedule. I really don't like the idea of waking the baby up to feed, if they are hungry they will wake up and let you know they are hungry! Personally, I think this helps them learn to sleep longer at night. You waking them up every 2-4 hours to eat teaches to wake up at night. This is my personal opinion.
6. How do you know if you are over feeding or under feeding your baby? Basic answer - by the output. Baby will give you cues when they are full/hungry. At first she may only eat 1/2 ounce, but it will obviously get to be more. Once she knows what routine you use to feed her, she will learn to go into that routine, like if you hold her a certain way when she eats, or use a certain blanket, or a certain chair.
7. When do you start to introduce pabulum / cereal? With Ruben we waited as long as I could, but we follow their cues. When baby starts eyeing your food, trying to eat it, and has good neck control, we would try giving them thin cereal. They have to learn to swallow it and not push it out with their tongue. Once they get the hang of this, I start mixing green veggies in with the cereal, then the veggies straight up. We have no food allergies in our family, or with our kids, so we didn't take the 3 day precaution, but you should if you have any concerns at all.
8. When do you start to introduce other baby food and what first? see above.

I am not one of those by-the-book mama's, I tend to be easy going and follow baby's cues and my instincts as to what to do. Some mama's are very by the book, and wait until baby's 6 month b-day to give them cereal, wait until the precise day so-and-so told them to take the baby out, and give them precisely the amount of formula they are "suppsed" to be eating, but IMO, every baby is different, every mama is different, every family is different, and you really can't mess up. Being a momy is trial and error, and what works one time, may not work another. The most important thing is to love your baby and provide a safe and loving home for him or her.

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I think everything has been covered by this point! I also waited until 6 months to introduce foods to the baby. You may start to feel anxious to do it to but just remember everything they need they're already getting in the formula or BM. Plus, like an AP said, it's a mess! One thing I kept in mind was that there's simply no harm in waiting.

Tummy time is important too- and your child will probably hate it at first- it's the first time I remember having to "tough love" to Andrew- he looked up so frustrated because he couldn't move but that's exactly what makes them build muscle- getting frustrated like that and squirming around.

You can't "break" them or "ruin" them- don't worry! I'm not going to lie and say everything comes naturally, and sometimes you truly won't know what to do, but you'll figure it out (because you'll have to do something) and you'll learn that way. Remember, as you go through these phases (I like to call them phases because everything, good AND bad is a phase and will pass before you know it) most of the rest of us will too and that will help you to not feel so alone and insecure with what you're doing

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Mommy to Andrew, born May 27, 2005

1. How soon can we start to take the baby out shopping, family's, friends, etc? IMHO, as soon as you want. Some docs say 8 weeks but that's generally during cold/flu season.
2. What is tummy time? Why is it important? Letting baby play on their tummy each day. Helps strengthen neck muscles, etc. Baby may not like it, but I think it's important
3. I have read on other boards that you are not supposed to bath the baby right away...is this correct? I though you could...I feel sooo lost. Just sponge baths until the umbilical cord falls off. Then regular baths are fine.
4. How do you care for the bellybutton at first? Some docs say do nothing, others have you used a cotton ball with alcohol to help dry it out so it falls off. Just try to keep it clean so it doesn't get infected.
5. Is it better to demand feed or schedule feed? (I know this will be different for everyone but I am trying to understand? At first, demand feed for sure. After 2-3 weeks, some people are very regimented on schedule feeding to get into a routine/prevent "snacking", but I say follow your gut. Whatever you're most comfortable with.
6. How do you know if you are over feeding or under feeding your baby? They will let you know If they cry and suck down the bottle, they're hungry. If they turn away or push it out, they're full.
7. When do you start to introduce pabulum / cereal? anywhere from 4-6 months.
8. When do you start to introduce other baby food and what first? after they're taking cereal ok I would start real foods. I've been told to start w/veggies first (yellows, then orange, then green colors - not really sure why tho).

Don't panic - you'll be fine. You'll be amazed at how you start to understand your little one, when no one else can!

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You've gotten lots of good advice & experience so far - I remember feeling the same way when Dessa was on the way.
I was a full time bf'er & fed on demand - both mine set a regular schedules for themselves within the first month. I remember when Dessa was a newborn I was terribly worried about her eating enough & she had a touch of jaundice so I kept a log of all her feedings & diapers for a few days. It eased my mind a lot to keep track that way - especially because I was sleep deprived & the diapers & feedings kinda blended together.
All this stuff is up to you - you can ask & read up but when it comes time to decide what you want to do you (and hubby) will know what works for you & Mackenzie.

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