Before my DH and I conceived we had actually already started to look into adoption. My cousin is a Foster parent taking care of three babies. Two of which are drug babies, and one which was abandoned at the hospital at 7 months by her mother. We fell in love with the little girl that was abandoned. She is completely healthy and so happy. A little about her story. She was brought in to the hopsital because she had blue hands and feet. The mother instead of getting the information and finding out why her hands and feet were blue..she just left. The baby (Jasmine) was just cold. So Jasmine was given over to my cousin to watch. It took a lot of work to get Jasmine to where she is now. She was put in a car seat for the first 7 months and was never held, touched, or played with. The father was put in prison for beating Jasmine's mom and drugs. Jasmine has been with my cousin since April 07. Her parents visit but they miss more than they come. And Jasmine has nothing to do with her father, and he has nothing to do with her. Right now the caseworker is trying to get the parents rights taken away so that Jasmine can go up for adoption. Well we were still thinking about adopting her, but then some things came up. About September 07 we found out Jasmine's mom is pregnant again. She tried to get an abortion but when she went in she was 20 weeks and they wouldn't allow it. She has been on Meth the whole pregnancy and she is due in February without letting off the drugs.
Now the caseworker wants Jasmine to go with her sister if she is adopted out. Which I don't blame them for putting siblings together, but now we are reconsidering adopting. We love Jasmine she's a sweetheart, and I have no doubt we could love her sister as well. It's just that I see my cousin take care of the drug babies and it's so sad, and hard to watch. The babies have control over their motor skills, they cry constantly and they have horrible drug side effects. It makes me so upset to see this happen and it makes me mad at the mother. I cry when I think about how she could do that, and then seeing how these babies turn out is just horrible. =(
On top of that Jasmine will be 18 months when she is adopted out, and a newborn baby along with our baby. It would be a handfull. I just don't think I could do it as much as I want to. I would have to quit work which just isn't possible right now. Sorry this is so long. I just had to get it out...I feel horrible. If we were still trying to have kids or we found out it wasn't possible I would take them both, but I just can't.
I just am so mad at the irresponsibility of the mother, she knew she was pregnant and still she didn't care. Needless to say they don't have much going for them when they go to court. They are transients, drug addicts and irresponsible and constantly miss their weekly visits with Jasmine.

So ya we are still thinking about it, but I just can't see it happening and I feel horrible for it.

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Oh I am so so so sorry. Sorry for the babies and sorry for you feeling so awful! If you are a praying persone I think this is something I would definately pray about. Hopeful you will find a decision that will bring you peace.

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mom to: Charlton, Kaitlin, McKenzie
and introducing
Emersyn Cecilia
]

Oh, what a hard situation! I can imagine you how you must be feeling through all this. It sounds like you are considering your limits. Taking on 2 infants and a toddler all at once would be a huge strain - physically, emotionally & financially. Hugs to you and to those babies! I hope you can come to a resolution that works for you.

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Im so sorry! What a difficult situation. *HUGS*

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My babies...
Katie 2004
Samuel 2005 (our son with God)
Griffin 2006
Harrison 2008



BabyLinq.com ~ Preemie Store - Hospital NICU
SAFE to going home.

AWWW.....That is a horrible situation. I agree I do not get how anyone can do that to a child its crazy to me. VERY VERY sad. My Cousin just adopted a drug baby and she is doing so well and they love her to peaces. It’s great to see how many ppl are out there that want to help BUT truly I think you are being smart....you defiantly need to consider your limitations. If it’s too much and puts a strain on you and your DH then you will both be of no good to any of the children. I know it’s hard but truly it’s smart to truly thinking about what you can handle and make sure it’s the right fit for you, your DH and your new little girl.

GOOD LUCK.....you truly have such a bug heart. HUGS

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Amanda, James & Sweet Mackenzie

7/17 -3rd Laparoscopic Surgery for Endometriosis
8/07 femara & ovidrel First Cy..... 8/24/07
(After trying for 6 years on and off)

That is so sad. I hope you can figure out what is right for your family. That is a hard decision.

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That is very tough. But I would like to offer another perspective. Having had to handle 2 infants, I can tell you it is definitely hard. I don't know how we would have managed without MIL helping at the time. She would help me when DH was working, otherwise, we did everything ourselves. The fog didn't lift for me until the babies were sleeping most of the night. But the flip side is sooooo rewarding. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I absolutely love having twins. They entertain each other and feed off each other (which is both good and bad ). If you do have someone that could help you, or can arrange for help thru babysitters or friends, then it can be done.

Best of luck with your decision. I know it must be heartwrenching.

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So sorry about all this situation Hope you can find an answer...

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Celina

I am so sorry. Its a big decision, and a decision only you and dh can make. I am sure you both will do what you feel is right. My parents have always been foster parents. I think its great when people take in other children and treat them as their own. Its very sad when they leave. Anyone that can do that I give them tons of credit, because there is no way I could do it (keep them for a period of time, then have to give them back). My parents divorced almost 10 years ago, and they both remarried. Well my dad and his new wife took on a baby at 5 weeks old. The parents tried smothering her and killing her. She is now 5, my dad adopted her, she cant walk or talk, all she does is basically sit in a special kind of wheel chair. Them parents also had 6 other children, and not 1 of them children are with their parents. It is so sad. We have also had babys that were drug babies and they are very hard to take care of. Your cousin is a wonderful person. Sorry to ramble on. I wish you all the best with any decision you make.

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DAWN

What a sad and horrible situation. It's hard to believe that there are people out there than can do such things to babies. Good thing that there are also people like yourself and your cousin to help these kids.

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