Did anyone else get some thoughtless comments when they announced the gender to family/friends? I can't believe people actually said some of the stupid things they did when they told them we were having another girl. Here are some of them....

"Awww...you must be disappointed."
"Now you will have to have another so you get your boy."
"You won't have someone to carry on the family name."
"Ooohhh..we need some more boys in the family."

What the heck is wrong with people? Please don't get me wrong, I would have loved a boy. I would have been totally happy and excited if the Dr. announced boy or girl. And yes, I think it would be cool to have one of each. But that does not mean I am at all disappointed or sad in having another girl. I can't believe that people would say things like that. I love my daughter with all of my heart and don't by any means think this new little girl is like having another clone of her. She is an exciting, different, new addition to our family. Anyway, sorry to vent, but I am a little sad that people still think like this and feel they have to share it with us. Just wondering if we're the only ones.

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Ann-Marie

Mind you, this hasn't been the issue since way back when, but when I had ds #3 (My first 3 children were all boys) I got a few - we didn't find out by u/s or anything, we waited to find out gender for all the kids until birth! - and it was, oh, so sorry you never got a girl.... boy, wonder what they wanna say now eh? lol

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With ds (#2). I was getting rude comments like "how perfect, you have one of each, you're done now aren't you" I was like umm no we plan on having more, but thanks. People can be so rude.

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Oh yes!! It ticks me off. All I really care is that baby is healthy....

I got:

"Awww I'm sorry...."
"Are you going to try for a girl"
"Sorry you didn't get a girl"
yada, yada, yada

I hate that people are thinking I'm disappointed about having another boy - I'm NOT!!!! Sure I would have liked to buy some pink, but it's not like my world is ending.

I don't think people realize how rude it sounds....

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It is one of the reasons I haven't really told any of my students what they think it is. Highschoolers can be very rude and hurtful...so I know they would have some comments!

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mom to: Charlton, Kaitlin, McKenzie
and introducing
Emersyn Cecilia

oh yeah,,, my MIL is the rudest most hurtful person I know... when I was showing the U/S pics she looked and said

"GOD THATS UGLY! THOSE THINGS ARE SO UGLY!"

And then she goes to my 4 year old who ran up to her nana excited about the baby and says
"Yeah I know, your no longer the baby!" She is awful... telling us who needs to go get fixed hubby or me... likes its any of her business!

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I have gotten several. What hurts most it comes from my mother. Im glad she lives millions of miles away because I wanted to knock some sense into her. My very own mother told me well I guess ill have to count on your brothers to give me a granddaughter. I wasnt even going to tell her we were having another boy but she kept on saying I cant see some pink and blah blah blah. So finally I said well I guess your goind to be disappointed because its a boy. Im soory people are being so rude to you.

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It truly blows my mind how rude ppl can be and the sad thing is I truly think lots of them do not think they are being that way. I think the though pops in there head and is out there mouth before it’s though about. I know some ppl just do not think before they say stuff and other well....there is no excurse. I am sorry you guys have had so many said.

I have had a few but nothing to major. For my DH and I its generally about our situation and that we should have waited.....but I just let it roll off as its not there life its ours and we will do what is right for our family and everyone else can accept it or not be apart of it. WOW....that sounds harsh but I guess after going through what we have so far and it not being over yet I have come to the conclusion you simply can not make everyone happy and if my DH, our little and I are that is what is most important. I find it does not matter what you do or how you do things ppl with have an opinion…..I get tired of ppl being so rude to others. It truly is sad…..I guess we can all hope to help by trying our best not to be like that.

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Amanda, James & Sweet Mackenzie

7/17 -3rd Laparoscopic Surgery for Endometriosis
8/07 femara & ovidrel First Cy..... 8/24/07
(After trying for 6 years on and off)

That is rude...some people don't realize that they are though. After DS, we got a lot of comments about being done since we now have one of each. Just ignore them...you'll get them after each child, no matter the gender it seems!

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Im sorry people are so rude!

This is not quite the same thing but it still makes me mad!
When my daughter was 7 months old we found out we were pregnant with our 2nd. SOOO very excited! Well we went to Babys R Us and some woman out of the blue started asking us questions and it came out that we were expecting again and she started going on and on and on how thats too close together and how SHE waited 5 years between all her kids and how that was better bla bla bla. I was so annoyed but more shocked than anything else that all I did was snap at her that "its too late now" and how I didnt want to be OLD and raising small children. (I just said that to be mean b/c she hurt my feelings, I dont really feel that way about having children at an older age)
A few weeks later we found out that our baby was very sick and would not live and he ended up passing away at 20 weeks. It still makes me mad when I think about those bad negative remarks about my baby boy. Grrr!

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Dh Jason
My babies...
Katherine Elizabeth 6/04/04
Samuel Lee 5/04/05 (our son with God)
Griffin Michael 04/13/06
Harrison Gabriel 04/27/08



BabyLinq.com ~ Preemie Store - Hospital NICU
SAFE to going home.

Oh, wow, I'm so sorry you all have heard such awful things too. (((hugs))) to you all. At least we have each other, right? Now, no more negative topics from me, sorry!!!

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Ann-Marie

I know exactly what you mean, and that is why when we found out last time that we were having another boy, we didn't tell anyone!!!!! And that is also why we are not finding out this time. Towards the end last time, I would tell people at the store or whatever, people I didn't know, just because I was so excited and I can't keep a secret I told this one girl at the Picture People when I was having my older son's pics done and she said, "Oh, I'm sorry, you must be so dissappointed. Boys are so awful and now you'll have two." And she went on to tell me about how wonderful her daughter was and how she would have freaked if she had a boy. She was so mean to my son while taking the pictures too!!! People just don't have brains I think. Once he was born and we told everyone we had another son, we got really great, supportive comments though, which was nice. About how they will be so close or buddies for life, etc. Only a few people made the "I guess you'll have to try again" sort of comment - which pisses me off now cause DUH obviously we'd like a girl, no sh#t, right? But what are we going to do, send him back if he's a boy??? We are getting comments left and right and its frustrating, no one thinks about the reality of what we are going through, hoping also for a girl and then having to deal with potential letdown (as awful as that sounds but I can't help the way I feel, I really really want a daughter!!) if its a boy because I am too old to have more babies. We will be thrilled either way, but if I do have another boy, I will silently mourn the thought of ever having a daughter in my life and all the things that come with it. And hearing people's comments will only make it hurt worse.
Sorry for the rambling, I just ate a ton of ice cream
Monica

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I've heard the same types of things after we found out we are having another boy, but I guess I am the odd one and they do not hurt my feelings. Maybe because I was SO SURE this was a girl, and can't say that I wasn't disappointed when we saw the goods. Everyone is thrilled whether this baby is a boy or a girl.

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We also had many comments like that when we were expecting DS2...one time it was from a checker at the grocery store! I thought that was the oddest thing ever! It sucks but people are gonna say what they are gonna say...it seems to happen to most of us- no matter if you have 2 boys, 2 girls or apparently one of each! I can't believe how many comments people get about "now you can be done and happy" because they have 1 of each! Some people... I still hear things now and then now that we have found out we are having a girl. The comments haven't been nearly as bad as last pg when we found out we were having another boy and have even been tame compared to what I got while the gender was still unknown believe it or not! But still...they irk me!

I just about to post about peoples silly comments today- though not for the gender thing. The other night I had a couple people tell that I looked SOOOO tired. ...Thanks, I guess...I don't know how to respond to that- and it's just a really odd thing to say to someone, really. I just don't usually walk around making comments like that to people so I don't understand others who do...and I am usually caught off guard on what to say in response!

Sorry that you have been getting so much negative feedback from people! having two girls back to back is going to be a lot of fun for you guys I bet! Having our 2 boys has been really neat...though I suspect that having 2 kids grow up together can be great no matter the gender!

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Derek (DH), Derek II (DS), Sammy (DS)

Allison Rene
May 13th 2008
7 lbs 6 oz & 20 in long

I still have to go for my u/s, but without knowing the comments have been made about if we have a boy, having to try again for a girl. We are about 75% sure this is it, and I do not want to feel like if it is another boy that it is a bad thing. We will be happy either way, and that is what I respond to them with. Sorry ppl have been so rude to so many of you.

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I can see how someone would be upset by those comments, but I wonder whether it was their intention to hurt or upset you. Reminding myself that people don't always intend to be rude or upsetting helps me deal with it. There's been a few things lately that have upset me, but I've been able to work through them by realizing that their intentions were benign.

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Ugh! I'm surprised at all the negative remarks! I feel pretty lucky - I haven't had too many. A couple times I've seen that look that says 'I thought you were done?'
Hugs to you who are hearing that from family/people close to you!

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I'm sorry uve all heard such hurtful things. We've gotten away without any genderwise because its our first baby and we don't even know the gender yet anyway. There have been other things that have hurt my feelings tho, I met a woman I kno a few weeks ago and first thing she said was "wow u look great, u've put weight on ur face!" I know she didn't mean it in a bad way but its hardly a compliment now is it?? Now I drive my dh mad asking him if my face is gettin fat! Which he says it isn't, but he'd say that anyway. I really don't think she meant to insult me just didn't think about how it sounded

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Aoife 28
Joe 29
Evan born April 29 2008. 6lb 5oz 19 inches
May 16 2008. 7lb 15oz 20 inches
May 30 2008. 9lb 7oz 21 inches
June 23 2008. 11lb 8oz
June 27 2008. 11lb 14oz 23 inches
Aug 29 2008. 16lb 13oz 25 1/4 inches

I still get a lot of "if it's a boy will you try for a girl?" comments or the "are you hoping for a girl this time?". We're not finding out the sex until baby is born.

We have three amazing, beautiful, smart and individual little boys. I'm happy with healthy, regardless of sex. There was a time I really pined for a little girl. A part of me always will. But that didn't make me any less excited about having little boys each time we were blessed with a child.

There is such a pressure in society to have the million dollar nuclear family (heterosexual parents, one boy and one girl). But society needs to readjust it's views on what defines a family really.

I've learned to get over the nasty comments about all boys...and this many children. Truth is I really don't care what other people think. My family is PERFECT for me.

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Jen ~ Mommy to Noah (4.5 years), Sebastian (3 years), Samuel and Elora born May 7th, 2008

Wow, I think I've been lucky... so far. People never cease to amaze me.

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