A place where I can just let it all out
Posted 03-16-2008 at 07:40 PM by Rubie
Sunday, March 16th, 10:22PM
I'm not sure how blogging works, this is the first time I do it. I've always kept a journal, at least I did when I was younger, but I haven't lately. I feel like I'm coming to a turning point in my life and that every little thing needs to be recorded-from the sweater that I chose to wear today to the dinner I just finished preparing.
The thing is this...I am so disappointed with my marriage. This is a HUGE deal to me, as I'm sure it would be to anyone, but it just feels like it shouldn't be happening to me.
So anyway, there is a lot that I could say, but I'll focus on one point at the moment.
My husband says I'm lazy and in return I say that he is lazy too. I do not deny being lazy (most of the time) but he is even lazIER.
So today I went food shopping with my parents. I left the house about 1:00PM, Victor was sleeping on the couch (he claims to be bedridden) and since Aixah was napping I asked if he would stay with her until I returned. "No," he replies or mutters or spits out...it really leaves no room for objection. SO off I go. First to Costco, very careful with how much I spend. Because 1. My money is not really my money 2. Even though we may need the things I am purchasing I am most likely paying more for them than I should and thus spending a lot more than I should or am allowed to.
After Costco we go to C-town because my parents are weird like that. SO there I stock up on a bunch of other stuff. This may seem like a short trip but it is not. Count preparing several bottles of formula for Aixah, singing the ABC song over and over again, incessant crying and it is just exhausting.
Finally We get back home. It is now like 8, I think. And AIxah has finally fallen into her nap. Great! I haven't had anything to eat yet and as I am famished I figure that Victor can help with the dishes as I pack the groceries away and prepare dinner. WRONG! Victor packs away the groceries (but the only reason he got off the couch was because he wanted soda) and then proceeds to return to the couch. So after dinner I mop the kitchen and off I go to feed and play with AIxah. Please note that I have been with her all day. Victor has changed her diaper once and that was only because I was preparing pork chops. And note that I am pretty sure the only time he got off the couch was to use the bathroom. If I do not ask for help he will do NOTHING and even when I ask for help he may still do nothing. He is so much more lazier than me. It depresses me to see him sometimes. It is not a good feeling.
And just to finish this lazy post, he has suddenly found a new place to throw his clothing, on Aixah's friggin' exersaucer. I am trying to remember the last time he ever hung up a piece of clothing and I seriously can't remember.
I'm not sure how blogging works, this is the first time I do it. I've always kept a journal, at least I did when I was younger, but I haven't lately. I feel like I'm coming to a turning point in my life and that every little thing needs to be recorded-from the sweater that I chose to wear today to the dinner I just finished preparing.
The thing is this...I am so disappointed with my marriage. This is a HUGE deal to me, as I'm sure it would be to anyone, but it just feels like it shouldn't be happening to me.
So anyway, there is a lot that I could say, but I'll focus on one point at the moment.
My husband says I'm lazy and in return I say that he is lazy too. I do not deny being lazy (most of the time) but he is even lazIER.
So today I went food shopping with my parents. I left the house about 1:00PM, Victor was sleeping on the couch (he claims to be bedridden) and since Aixah was napping I asked if he would stay with her until I returned. "No," he replies or mutters or spits out...it really leaves no room for objection. SO off I go. First to Costco, very careful with how much I spend. Because 1. My money is not really my money 2. Even though we may need the things I am purchasing I am most likely paying more for them than I should and thus spending a lot more than I should or am allowed to.
After Costco we go to C-town because my parents are weird like that. SO there I stock up on a bunch of other stuff. This may seem like a short trip but it is not. Count preparing several bottles of formula for Aixah, singing the ABC song over and over again, incessant crying and it is just exhausting.
Finally We get back home. It is now like 8, I think. And AIxah has finally fallen into her nap. Great! I haven't had anything to eat yet and as I am famished I figure that Victor can help with the dishes as I pack the groceries away and prepare dinner. WRONG! Victor packs away the groceries (but the only reason he got off the couch was because he wanted soda) and then proceeds to return to the couch. So after dinner I mop the kitchen and off I go to feed and play with AIxah. Please note that I have been with her all day. Victor has changed her diaper once and that was only because I was preparing pork chops. And note that I am pretty sure the only time he got off the couch was to use the bathroom. If I do not ask for help he will do NOTHING and even when I ask for help he may still do nothing. He is so much more lazier than me. It depresses me to see him sometimes. It is not a good feeling.
And just to finish this lazy post, he has suddenly found a new place to throw his clothing, on Aixah's friggin' exersaucer. I am trying to remember the last time he ever hung up a piece of clothing and I seriously can't remember.
Total Comments 3
Comments
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I'm am so sorry if I sound opionated, but I would either leave him, or kick him out!! Sounds like you're doing everything on your own anyway, and life would be soooo much easier if you didn't have the stress of watching him do nothing. Bringing up a child in an unloving atmosphere is not healthy and will rub off on her. Children can sense tension from a young age, and normally respond by being cranky, crying etc.. thus leading to more tension, thus no one is happy. My mum raised me and my sister on her own, and both of us agree that we preferred our child hood to what we would have had..... we witnessed argueing etc.. much better without our Dad's negitive attitude!! I hope I don't sound to harsh, but every child deserves a happy healthy home to live in, otherwise they'll hate being there!! And sometimes that home will be minus one parent! The 3 of you deserve to be happy x
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Posted 03-18-2008 at 05:18 PM by paulinefc
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I know it's easy to say "leave the bum" but it's not nearly as easy to do. If you can lower your expectations and stop wanting him to be something he isn't you might be able to make it work, but otherwise you should maybe be thinking about getting out and on with your life.
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Posted 03-19-2008 at 04:04 PM by enigma74
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am sorry but that is too much
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Posted 04-27-2008 at 05:04 PM by jennifer1626
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Recent Blog Entries by Rubie
- Day 3 (03-19-2008)
- Controlling my portions (03-18-2008)
- Not so Good News (03-18-2008)
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- Taking Aixah to the sitter this AM (03-17-2008)
