TTC-Stress

What to do? I am sitting here on a message board and finally joined hoping to get questions answered, make a few friends, relieve stress, and HEY...get pregnant all at the same time. Who would have known that getting pregnant could consume a persons life so much that all you want to do it sit on a computer and google google google any word you can think of that might help you get pregnant. (For me those words may be Ovulation calculator, fertility, improving sperm count, preseed, letrozol, ovidrel, dpo, timing intercourse, success rates, BFP, when to test.....and so on!)

My life has become so wrapped up in getting pregnant that I was pretty sure last weekend I was having a heart attack. At first I thought maybe it was the Letrozole I just started taking, but the doc said that isn't possible. I've never had acid reflux so I won't consider that either. My dad swears I am a stressed person and that it is the main cause of "all my problems", but I wasn't aware I had any other issues. =) (Bless my dad. I love him!) So, I have chalked it all up to stressing out over getting pregnant.

It is consuming my life. I exercise, work a few days a week, stay busy if possible with my 20 month old (who was NOT planned), but I just can't seem to fight off my thoughts of being pregnant. Everyone around me has gotten pregnant with their second child and they didn't even have their FIRST until AFTER us. Some have gotten pregnant and had babies all in my TTC process. Why them and not me? God has a plan, but if his plans don't include a baby for me any time soon, I'm afraid I won't be around when it is time. My chest hurts, I can't breathe, I'm down in the dumps, my husband doesn't understand, and my little girl is my only saving grace. I think I'll end up causing a heart attack from stress. Is that even possible?

Now sitting in the TTW, here I am, on the computer, looking for answers, signs, probabilities, when did I O? did I BD at the right time? did I miss it? Why this? Why that? Ho Hum At least writing this all out makes it seem a little easier. I am not good at keeping journals as writing makes my hand hurt. Maybe this will be my new stress relief. Time will only tell.