We are family

Posted 01-24-2008 at 03:17 PM by Kahlan79

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), my husband's mother has been out of our lives since the day we were married almost a year ago...for many, many reasons. I tend to keep out of the situation, to the extent that I don't care if we ever speak to her again if that's what he wants, but I am thinking increasingly about what will happen when we have kids. The situation gets a little sticky due to the fact that he still talks to his father, we are close to his (only) cousins, his aunt lives nearby and we have an "eh" relationship with her, and we aren't trying to ignore the entire family, just his mom.

While I'm ok keeping my thoughts mostly to myself when it comes to his relationship with her, I find myself getting increasingly angry when I think about her trying to come into our lives again without changing a thing - just because she has a "right" to her grandchild.

As Dr. Phil says, grandparents have no rights when it comes to their grandkids. And I feel the same way here. I don't want to continue this bad relationship with her through our kids. That doesn't help anyone, does it?

I guess it's the mama bear instincts coming out...

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	she has no rights - you are right. do what you are comfortable with :) good luck, mama bear.
	Posted 01-24-2008 at 03:20 PM by amanda29aks

As you know, my MIL came back into our lives after over 3 years of no contact when the girls were 6 weeks old. Things are still not great because the woman has no concept of thinking before she speaks and probably wouldn't get what was wrong even if she thought about it. That said, she's really pretty good with the girls. She's not as hands-on as B. by any means, but she tries. I've made my peace with allowing her to stay put until she seems like she's losing interest. After all, the woman was not Mother of the Year, so I can only assume she'll eventually lose interest in her grandkids. It's not like my husband has any real desire to have her around, so I'm really the only one keeping the relationship alive at this point. We'll see.

Posted 01-24-2008 at 03:31 PM by thelynnfiles thelynnfiles is offline