at my whits end!

I am so frusterated with the options of pedi's for Xander! I have to find a special dr that is familiar (at least) with cardiology and CHD's but that is also a pediatrician and my ins has to cover it. I hate that I can't just take him to the pedi that he has had since birth but this pedi seems afraid to touch him and the last time we took Xander to him with a problem he brushed it off as nothing and Xander ended up in the hospital for a week with chest tubes for Chylothorax. We have been home for a week and I am having such a hard time finding anyone to see Xander as his pediatrician, either they don't feel comfortable seeing him because they know nothing of heart conditions or they aren't taking new patients, or my ins doesn't cover them. If Xander was healthy I could take him to a regular pedi but since he has special needs he has to see a special dr.

Also when I try and explain to people what a hard time I am having they talk to me as if I am doing nothing to help my son, they act like I am not on the phone and internet trying to find a dr for him and that I am neglecting him in some way! Not only that but since I am due to deliver another baby in 14w they act as if I am doing something horribly wrong bringing another child into this world with a sick son already. I know I asked for advice but you don't have to attack me and say that I am not doing enough for my son and that I am going to be a bad mom to the new baby, I am a good mom, I have two other girls besides Xander and they are well taken care of and don't feel as if I am neglecting them, I can be a full time mom and find a special pedi for Xander and have another baby without neglecting anyone!

I am doing my best to find a dr for Xander so people who think otherwise can just keep their mouths shut because you have no idea what I go through on a daily basis, Xander eats every 3hrs and has most of his meds 2 &3 times a day plus I take good care of the girls and have to take time to take care of myself for the baby inside me, I am busy all the time taking care of someone and always looking to better myself, I am not perfect but I am doing the best that I can, If my best wasn't good enough and my children were in danger they wouldn't be living with me anymore, exspecialy Xander, someone would have taken them away long time ago if they were in danger!!!