Am I being unreasonable?
Posted 03-13-2008 at 08:55 PM by Ashacat
Okay so here's the deal. My 18mth daughter's father (who also happens to be my fiance) has a good friend who lives about three hours from us. This friend has just obtained her degree and is throwing a graduation party in May. No problem with that, congratulations and good luck and all, moving on.
This friend has never seen our daughter. My fiance would like very much to take Asha with us to the graduation party. Herein lies the problem. Since Asha's birth I have done everything in my power to shield her from obscenely loud music, drunk people, smoke filled (or even smoke lingering) rooms, and that whole general environment. And I have done a damn good job of it. This friend is a drinker and a smoker and so are most of the people who will be in attendance. They also have very different parenting philosophies than mine.
My fiance is far too willing to bend the rules and subject our daughter to a party that, in my mommy view, she has absolutely no business being at, just so his friend can meet her.
Any ideas on how to convince him to leave Asha with the grandparents that don't include yelling, threats, and torture?
This friend has never seen our daughter. My fiance would like very much to take Asha with us to the graduation party. Herein lies the problem. Since Asha's birth I have done everything in my power to shield her from obscenely loud music, drunk people, smoke filled (or even smoke lingering) rooms, and that whole general environment. And I have done a damn good job of it. This friend is a drinker and a smoker and so are most of the people who will be in attendance. They also have very different parenting philosophies than mine.
My fiance is far too willing to bend the rules and subject our daughter to a party that, in my mommy view, she has absolutely no business being at, just so his friend can meet her.
Any ideas on how to convince him to leave Asha with the grandparents that don't include yelling, threats, and torture?
Total Comments 3
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3 hours is a long time for a little girl to travel in a car to meet a stranger! In my opinion your husbands friend has had alot of occassions to meet your daughter, naming day, 1st birthday etc...
You could suggest inviting said friend down for her 2nd birthday, and leaving her with grandparents for this party, after all she may be cranky after the trip, and ruin the party. If you go without her, spend quaility time together and enjoy the party without worrying about her... it might work,,, good luck!! |
Posted 03-19-2008 at 09:29 AM by paulinefc
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This is just one of many parenting battles that you will probably see over the years (my little girl is 13 and my hubby and I disagree about parenting quite often.) Just be honest about how you feel and let him know that the environment is not an appropriate one for a little child. Try to make some other concession for how the friend can meet your little one. Stand firm though...don't let him persuade you to go against your (very correct) beliefs that a party full of smoking, drinking and general adult behavior is no place for a baby.
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Posted 03-19-2008 at 01:52 PM by enigma74
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for me, what u have to is to have one on one talk with ur daughter, then try to let ur man know that, is will do ur daughter no good in going to such party, but be humble in ur manner of apporach to him. give him point like 1. i konw u love her n will not want our daughter to end up a smoker or durnk, so i suggest we let her stay with grandy. we will invite ur friend to come see her in her 2nd birthday with a lot of other friend.
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Posted 06-18-2008 at 05:04 AM by marybayo
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