I hear you . . . I found that I couldn't discuss it with most of my friends. I did find that when I was starting to withdraw . . . I just felt worse. I really felt alone, and it made me that much more bitter and angry. I started to feel like I was being beaten by infertility, and I just refused to let it rule my life. So, I got aggressive about treatment. We only did 2 IUIs, and then we moved on to IVF. I just pushed ahead and did everything in my power to get us pregnant. But, we spent about 7 months waiting in there, and it was long and tough. I think one of my worst days was shopping for baby furniture for my SIL the day after I found out or s/a results. NOT a good day, but she never knew it.

My SIL didn't have trouble getting pg this time around . . . but she did have a m/c when they were first trying, and it took them another year to get pg again. And in that time, her father died. So, I guess what that says to me is that some people may have an easy time getting pregnant, but then other bad things happen to them in other walks of life . . . death in the family, or job problems, or money issues. So I've tried to just face the challenges we have . . . and remember that life isn't necessarily easy for those people that have no problems ttc. I know that doesn't make it better . . . but somehow the perspective can help me be more thankful.

Hang in there . . . you will get through to the other side, although sometimes it just doesn't feel that way. I hope the varicocele surgery works for you!

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