Oh, Brookelyn . . . I'm so sorry you are going through this. We have been struggling with MFI, too - and varicocele surgery wasn't an option for us. In the time we were trying, EVERYONE around me was getting pregnant. My SIL had an "oops" 2nd child, and 4 of my best friends all got pg (most of them after 2-3 months trying, and 1 of them was even 40 and she got pg that quickly!!).

I'm sorry your sister has been so insensitive and offensive about this whole thing. It is so hard not to be emotional right now, and every little comment does have a way of breaking your heart a bit - I've been there and I know exactly how you feel. We ended up doing IVF, and we were lucky - that worked for us. But we went through a lot to get to that point, and we had the big added pressure of time and age screaming at us. Along the way, I worked hard to harden myself to everyone else's good fortune, because I didn't want to alienate myself from everyone in my life having babies. It wasn't easy, and some days I did just want to die and avoid everyone - particularly at baby showers. But, I pushed through it - put on a good face for the world. I poured everything into my nieces . . . loving them, buying stuff for them. I spent many days crying about it, but in the end, I'm so glad that I still have my close friends that I can turn to now about baby stuff. I think not feeling alienated and alone on top of the sadness I had about our infertility was a good thing . . . even when it wasn't the easy thing.

I just went to a bbq last weekend - and I know if we weren't pregnant, that would have been an AWFUL day for me. The strange thing is I still felt that sadness, even though I know we are pregnant now. I'm not sure those moments will ever change for me - that biting pain is so real, and I think the frustration is even worse when you are dealing with MFI . . . it just feels so out of your control.

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