:::sigh::: hello everyone...these past three months has been more than hell for me. I just started college and I hate it!!! I'm trying to get out but my landlord wont let me break my lease saying I have to find a replacement or I will still have to pay monthly. They want 660 a month...a 300 fee for me to break my lease and 50 dollars for a late fee!!!!!!!!!!!! My best friend is just sooo ecstatic to be having a baby boy in april and I'm like so sick of her right now. I WANT MY BABY!!!!!! My emotions have already been up and down since I lost my baby a year ago. its not fair. I pray and pray and pray. I pray to ask God to help me find someone to take over this place..I pray to ask God to allow me to be there and to be happy for my friend...I pray to ask God to just let me relax and do what's best for me..but everytime I pray my life goes further down the drain...God doesn't hear my prayers..he isn't trying to help me. Then when i talk to my mom and my boyfriend they dont take me seriously. My mom just ignores the hell out of me and my boyfriend thinks im crazy....I just want to die. sometimes I think about suicide but I'm not strong enough to follow through with it..Maybe one of you ladies can pray for me. Maybe God will listen to you. I'm only 18 and I've already gone through so much. I just can't take anymore of it!!!!!!!

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