I am in dire need of spiritual healing after this last m/c. I am so angry at God and it scares me at some of the things I have thought about Him. I have dealt with the miscarriage pretty well I just am having a hard time of dealing with the anger directed towards God about what I feel He has done and put us through.

My mom has been here for a visit and started talking about how it was God's way of taking care of something that wasn't right and I just wanted to explode. I kept my temper in check and told her that I didn't ask for this pregnancy and I didn't pray for it. It was a miracle we got pregnant. So why would God give us a miracle, one that made us in awe and so happy, and then take it from us like it didn't even matter? She couldn't answer me.

There has never been a day in my life that I didn't believe in God or just know that, no matter what, He was there...until now. I find myself questioning things I never did before and feeling things in my gut that never use to be there. I told my mom that I didn't beleive God was loving and caring, that I thought he was cruel and didn't care how badly things hurt people or he'd never make us to suffer for things we didn't even ask for or expect to begin with. It just feels like he is punishing me to an extent and deep down I know this can't be true, can it?

I WANT to get past this, I just don't know how. Is this normal?

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