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Of all the women here I know, none have ever gone out of their way (except, of course, the two friends I had that unfortunately moved) to really involve me in anything. Admittedly, I don't do that either, so a huge part of my problem is my own fault.
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I think you hit the nail on the head here. I hope this doesn't come off sounding harsh (really, I mean well!!) but chances are, there are women who feel a lot like you and you guys aren't connecting because no one is willing to make the first move. It takes effort, serious effort to make friends once you are an adult, living on your own. I have quite a few friends here, but it took a lot of work to make them.
When I first moved here, there was this one girl who invited me places and we had a good time. But then she made other friends and eventually moved away and I felt pretty lonely....I was like, "what, no one wants to be friends with me?" I was used to just letting the phone ring and having others (well, just this one friend, usually) invite me places. I didn't want to make the phone calls to invite people over or to the park or to activites, because I was afraid of rejection. But who isn't afraid of that?
SO...I decided to take charge and start calling people and making and effort. You know what...its hard, but its worth it. Yes, I have been "rejected" by people who are 'too busy' all the time to hang out or just don't connect with me...but I have also made two really good friends. And its constant work to keep in touch and keep close, but again, its worth it.
And at first, it felt like I was the one doing all the work in these friendships--and that sucked and I wondered if these people really wanted to hang out since they weren't reciprocating invitations--but I also realized that in some of my previous friendships, my friends were the ones who were always inviting me places, while I just sat around waiting. So I realized some of these people were probably just enjoying not having to be the one to put themselves out there and were afraid
I'd be too busy for
them. And eventually, after I invited them several places, they started reciprocating the friendship too.
As for people not seeing eye to eye with you--I can understand some of that, but like you said, you have the gospel in common so I dont think it matters. I disagree with my close friends on a lot of things like spanking (I don't do it), marriage issues, CIO, etc...but we are still close. I think that in the conversations you posted, you were stating your point of view and they were stating theirs. You don't agree...but so what? It doesn't sound like they were being nasty about it or attacking you. I know those conversations made you feel alienated (and I hope this doesn't sound bad) but it was probably all in your head (trust me, I've been there too!) I am sure those women didn't mean to make you feel out of place anymore than you would want them to feel out of place, KWIM?
Also, enrichment, book club, etc....those are NOT the places to make close friends. You need to get people's phone numbers and call them and have them over for lunch or meet at the park, etc. Getting to know people and showing interested in someone one-on-one, or in a very small group setting, will go a lot farther in making a close friend. I have realized that I will never make a good friend simply by showing up at church or enrichment...those are great places to meet people, but not great places to form good friendships.
Sooo...get to work, LOL. Really, I know what it can be like. But you can change it. Also, pray about it hard. I have done that and it worked wonders for me.