Hi Ladies,
I know there's not many of us around here anymore...but I am just seriously bummed and figured this is a safe place to vent/cry (dh is tired of hearing it). We just built our dream house with the plan of me opening a childcare/preschool. I have been advertising for over 2 months - door-to-door, newspapers, bulletin boards, etc. I only have 2 part-timers (which I'm not happy with...). Our house is huge - too much for me most days. I am really having my doubts about this daycare thing. I have all the credentials...beautiful room...activities for children...small ratio... but we're in the country and it's a drive for a lot of people. Don't know why I figured this would work. Anyways, dh expects me to go back to work if this doesn't work...and I'm just dying over the thought of it. I enjoyed what I did (technical writer...meetings...deadlines...) but now that I've been home with Grace for a few weeks and been able to see her more and get things done around the house, the thought of sending her back off to daycare kills me (ironic, huh??). Anyways, I'm getting baby fever (quickly hit me hard) and there is no way we could afford to have two in daycare and afford this house (and it's ridiculous utilities and taxes). But, we could afford to move back to the town we lived in, into a more "reasonable" sized house and allow me to stay home (with a new baby?!?!). I could just keep crying....ugh.... I know how dh feels though. We had lived in our little house until October and we've been with family until we just moved into this house and he says we move all the time (like we could help having to wait to get it built)... I should be happy - family, dream house, new business. I think I'm just finding I would rather be spending my days with my own child and a new baby, back in our little town in our little house. Is that selfish? Awful? I always learn things after the fact.
So sorry to complain here....just feeling...well...not sure what I'm feeling.
I need "be strong" vibes. Sick of hearing opinions of people around us.
Thanks for lending an ear...
~Amanda
Mommy to Grace, 18 months