Matthew (who will be five in September) asked me if we could have another baby. After I told him that wouldn't happen too soon, I asked him if he would want a boy baby or a girl baby. He said boy baby. (He is totally taken with his baby brother Benjamin - loves on him all day long.) I said we've had 3 boy babies now; Mommy's starting to feel outnumbered. Would it be okay if we had a girl baby someday? He says yes, and then I explained to him that it isn't something we can pick and choose (boy or girl), but that God always sends the right baby.
Now, the boy has been on a religious bent since Bible School a few weeks ago, and has been asking many questions. These have provoked some really cool discussions with him. So when I made my comment about God choosing the gender of the baby, he asks me if he can ask God and Jesus for a girl baby for our family. I said, yes, you can, and hugged him and then reminded him once again that God will answer our prayers with what is right for our family (whether it is a boy or a girl or any baby at all - it's in His hands at this point).
I was just so touched by Matthew's sweetness and empathy. I think he actually "got it" that Mommy is a bit out-numbered by all the boys, but he also knows how much I love him. He is always cuddling with me and telling me he loves me and he knows that he and his brothers are "Mommy's sweeties" - He is just the most empathetic little boy you'd ever want to meet. DH & I were speculating about the future careers of our oldest two - we've decided Matthew will be a teacher or a pediatrician or some other sort of caring profession and Jamie...well, he's ALL boy and rather bossy and could have some potential as a Drill Sergeant or police officer.
Who knows...maybe if Matthew genuinely prays for us to add a baby girl to our family it will happen. I pray about it often, and when my mom said that Matthew had told her what he was praying for, I related to her the conversation I'd had earlier with Matthew and pointed out to her that she could throw a few words God's way herself if she saw fit to do so.
As for my own prayers, I pray for a girl if it is God's will and if it is God's will to send me another boy or no more children at all, to be content with what I have. After trying to mess with nature three times, I feel a tremendous sense of relief simply relying on faith to determine the outcome.
In the meantime, I am thoroughly enjoying the blessing that is baby Benjamin. He is a total doll-baby! Sweet, cuddly, smiling...
well, click here if you want to see how cute he is now