I'm facing the hardest time ever in my life. Just days
after conceiving, my husband told me he wanted a divorce. (We were
actively TTC.) We talked and talked and agreed not to give up on us.
Christmas morning, I found out I was pregnant.

Two weeks ago, he told me that he wants to go to marriage counseling.
Last week, we went for the first time and I felt it was pretty
successful. He agreed to hold off on amaking any decision until this
summer, after he completes his internship (he's in grad school).

Sometime over the weekend, he decided that it's not fair to keep me
hanging on waiting for a decision and he said he thinks he should move
out.

I'm completely devastated. I'm a mess. My parents are very supportive
and told me I could come back home once the baby's born (I can't
rightnow b/c I need my health insurance while I'm pregnant, though I'm
in a job that I hate.)

I now know what purgatory is first hand. I know I'm not the first
person to ever go through something like this, but I'm terrified. I'm
losing my best friend. We've been married a year and a half, together
six and a half and known each other almost 10 years.

He says he feels he got married too young (29) and that he feels like
his life has been set for him. He's always changing his mind about
what to do w/ his life and feels like now he HAS to settle down.

I've always supported his decisions and been there for him. He says
it's not fair to continue dragging me around. He worries that if we
stay together, he may do this again and hurt not only me, but our baby
as well.

So he's going to move out in 2 weeks. He told me to go ahead and get
my own bank account and to switch money over. He said he'll transfer
our savings to me.

Today he has his first counseling appointment just by himself. I'm suprised he's going, but pleased. I hope he doesn't bail.

Maybe I sound calm writing this, I don't know. I can tell you that I'm
not. I spend hours a day crying. I spent my entire lunch break today
crying. I wish I could just sleep through the next 7 months.

I don't know why I'm posting this here...

I feel like my life is over.

Jen